Needing some "Me" time

Had our project presentations last week - what a relief! Now with that behind me I can try and get my act together for Civics, History, Philosophy and Geography... (It's kinda embarrassing how far back I've fallen with these subjects, at least for my standards, so I need to work on my fighting spirit. The last spurt before graduation..!)

School matters aside, I need to take a timeout from anything related to flirting, sex and people of the opposite sex. Harder said than done. But yeah, I'm sick of it (sick of a lot of things actually). I want it to be about me and my well-being - physically, emotionally and mentally. I want, and need, to take care of myself first.

To do that I guess I'll need to document this somehow (and here's where the blog comes in, partially.) I'll write down small things I do day-to-day that bring me a sense of serenity and completeness, and I'll also write down how I feel during my "up" moments.

(Let's try to stay positive.)

When I came home from school today I lit a rose-scented cone incense. Took a while to figure out how to keep the cone smouldering (it's a bit tricky), but eventually I had lush, smoky-white tendrils licking the air and a lovely aroma of sandalwood, rose and smoke spread through the apartment. It was especially nice to sit on the balcony and enjoy the smell in quiet sunshine.

Now as I'm writing this, I also have a piping hot cup of Chinese green tea (the gunpowder variety) on the table.

It's kinda nice, you know. ♥

Anyway. SPS3 is heading for Stockholm on Wednesday. Knowing Kristina, it's going to be hectic and stressful but hopefully we'll manage xD I'll also meet up with Per for some smaller chitchat and to retrieve a Macbook from him. Hopefully, more on that in the next post.

"Do you fancy a quick fiddle now we're in here?"

FUCK this. I will be cryptic. *types away*

***

Turbulent week in terms of matters of the "heart". Started with E, then added was J. Later, as a surprise, S jumped into the equation only to jump out. So now only E and J? Not that I mind, but I was looking forward to having S.

Actually, given the choice right this moment it'd be S, J and E. But circumstances can change. And the "heart" can change - oh yes, it can.

Sizzling, burning, intense S? Cuddly, quirky, sweet J? Calm, pleasant, casual E? Sounds like drugs; not far from the truth. Can't OD though - must make a choice. Clearly, S is a bad batch but good girls like to taste that which is bad. Good girls are practically drawn to bad things like moths towards fire. The high obtained with J is wonderful but short-lasting. Took a great deal of effort to whip up this mixture, but do I really I want it? And god knows what E will make me do - does it even have an effect really? It's old news and I want something else.

(Truth be told, drug effects are temporary but they give me satisfaction, if only for a while. Brain damage may occur in the process, but what do I care? I only want a bit of fun.)

I have no patience - I want my fix now. The dealer better hand it to me next week, though I have no idea what will be delivered. Definitely not S, which is unfortunate. I shall have to taste both E and J.